Oh where do I begin today!!! It has been the most emotional day I have had so far. I didn't even get this emotional with BN1.

The midwife arrived first thing to weigh BN2, I didn't have to ring the number, as she arrived so early. (So early in fact I was still in bed!!) BN2 has now lost 1lb since birth. He really should have started to put weight back on by now. We checked and double checked the scales, on various surfaces, but the weight was the same. We were all a bit concerned.

After a discussion on feeding the new plan was to express a couple of ounces and feed him from a bottle. At least that way we could see how much he was actually having, and with that the midwife said she would come back on Thursday to repeat the wighing, and hopefully see some weight gain. She also said that I must feed every 3 hours, and wake him if necessary, hopefully this will also help BN2 distinguish between night and day.

...Tears....I feel like a failure, it was so easy last time, why can't I do it.

I managed to express 3ozs and BN2 quite easily took the 2ozs that the midwife asked. And he seemed very settled after that. Hooray we are on the road to recovery.

3 hours later... expressed another 3ozs from "the other one" successfully and BN2 fed well. Again, Hooray!!!

...Tears....again

With suprisingly little effort I actually made it out of the house to meet up with the antenatal group. I suppose this is where experience helps (but I only had 1 to get out of the house, it will be different when I have to get 2 out of the house).

Anyway, having had a very nice time catching up with the girls and being cheered up, and a good photo opportunity with the little ones, I with hubby, and BN2, collected BN1 from nursery. My first trip to collect him, and obviously show off the little one!! BN1 was very excited that I collected him, so much so he ran towards me, as much as a 19 month old can run!!

Top Tip: When going out, and having got your bag of tricks ready for the first, after you return home replace anything you have used, so that your bag is ready for next time that you go out.

...Tears....again

Hubby has been great today. He said he has been pleased he has been at home, especially as today has been so difficult, and emotional for me.

...Tears.... again

Have gone to express again and only got 1oz... That's not enough to feed a growing little boy. Have gone to the cupboard to open my emergency supply of formula, only to find there was no seal on it....It must have been like that since March 06 when I switched to Cows milk with BN1. So it's going to have to go in the bin... but that means that I have no formula for BN2, looks like its a mad dash to Tesco's. Thank you for 24hr shopping.

Decided to buy Aptamel. Only because my local baby clinic sells it cheaper than Tesco's. No other reason. Have already sterilised the bottles and boiled the water, so it should have been cool by the time I got home... and it was.

Have given BN2 his first bottle of formula. He seems fine with it. In fact today seems to have been a better day with reagrd to feeding. BN2 seems to be much more settled. But I have noticed that my boobs still haven't filled up and I am not experiencing any discomfort.

9pm.... and another formula feed. Nothing is coming when I am trying to express. How strange. The only difference between feeding with BN1 and BN2 is that with BN1 after giving birth I reverted back to my pre-pregnant dowse of thyroxine. This time the consultant (a different one to last time) said to stay on the same, increased dose for 6 weeks, and then he would do a review. Come to think of it my weight loss has been rapid too. I am lighter now than I was before I had BN1, and I am back in normal clothes easily - too easily I expect. Also my asthma has returned and is giving me a lot of grief. Last time it gave me this much grief was when I was first put onto thyroxine at a level which was subsequently found to be too high. On getting the thyroxine to the correct level the asthma disappeared.

Hubby has looked on the internet and googled thyroxine and breastfeeding and found that someone else has experienced the same problems as me showing a connection betweed reduced breast milk production and excessive levels of thyroxine. A trip to the doctors is required tomorrow to discuss this, and hopefully sort it out.

Wish me luck...

I have been a bit annoyed today. On Friday the midwife said she would call today to weigh BN2, but didn't show. I tried to call the number I was left, and there was no answer. We are still having problems with feeding, so could have really done with her calling, and I wanted to get out for a walk, and didn't get one as I had to wait in all day, and I really didn't want to miss her calling, especially having missed her call initially on Friday.

I am looking forward to getting out for a couple of hours tomorrow to catch up with the girls in my antenatal group.

Will also call the midwife in the morning, to make sure that she is going to call. I can't go another day without seeing her.... and who said it was supposed to be easier with BN2, as you are supposed to have a vague idea of what you are supposed to be doing.

We had more visitors today. It was nice to see some other faces. BN1 went off to be cos he was shattered. Lucky him. I wish I could just crash out like that, but unfortunately, BN2 seems to be attached to my breasts all the time.... I don't think things are still quite right with the feeding but we seem to be getting there slowly.

Hubby and I ventured out for another walk today, not too far though. But again we still spent more time getting ready for going for the walk than actually walking. We took 2 buggies again rather than our double buggy, only because BN2 was dropping off to sleep in his carry cot, so it was easier to clip it onto the buggy, than try and mess round with the new buggy.

Our first trip out with the double buggy will come soon enough. Hopefully we made a good purchase. In the end we were for the Cosatto Duet Lite, as I wanted a front and back as I have previously suffered with a bad back, I wanted an even weight distribution, and it takes up the least amount of room in the car, and as our parents don't live nearby it is high on our list of purchase criteria.

I sent Grandma to the supermarket with BN1 today for Colief. Just in anticipation of Colic striking. We used Colief with BN1 and it worked a treat for us, well worth the £10 (yep its expensive compared to Infacol, but it worked for BN1)

We, somehow, managed to miss the midwife calling this morning. She left a note saying that she had called, and that she would call again tomorrow. I need her now!!!!

I called the number left, and she said she would call again within the hour!! And she did.

I was struggling to feed BN2 when she arrived. As soon as she saw me she came over, readjusted me, my seating position, and my hold of BN2, and whilst Bn2 was feeding she massaged my breast. And it was great. By the end of the days the boulders that were my breast, didn't feel or look quite so hard.

The midwives that visit you at home are worth their weight in gold, they work so hard.

The four of us got out for our first walk today. It took us ages to get out of the door, not really sure how I am going to manage on my own to get the two little ones out of the door. I am sure it will be okay with a bit of practice.

It was nice to get out for a walk but I think we walked just a bit too far, especially as I was pushing BN2. Hubby was pushing BN1, still not tried out our double buggy, Cosatto Duet Lite.

Today has been just as bad as yesterday, up until late afternoon, when just as grandma arrived BN2 had worked out how to latch on within a couple of minutes. Hooray.... maybe I will manage to get a couple of hours sleep tonight.

Today was BN1's last day in nursery until Monday, looks like we are going to have our hands full for the next few days... glad Grandma is going to be hear to help... just have to make sure she keeps away from the house work and concentrates on entertaining BN1.

I didn't think boulders could change size, but mine have - and they are even harder than they were yesterday.

It's still taking over an hour for BN2 to latch on, and it's taking over an hour to feed, and last night we had a marathon feed of 4 hours!! I am then lucky if I get an hour off before we start the whole process again.

This is getting ridiculous - and I am getting no sleep.

I think that I may be getting Grandma back again to help before Thursday.

The dreaded "Day 3" has arrived. My boobs are like 2 giant boulders. My god do they hurt or what. Someone must have delivered milk to them overnight, I can't wait to give some of it to BN2 to make me feel better. Unfortanately for me BN1 decided that it would be good fun to lean on them as he gave his mum a kiss. I nearly yelped, but it isn't his fault, so I had to hold back. The midwife is due later... can't wait

... still waiting for the midwife to arrive - have decided to get the Medela Electric Breast Pump out of the box to relieve myself.....

What a great purchase the Electric Breast Pump is... much better than the manual Avent one I bought for BN1. Also used hot cloths, and have massaged... Thankfully the combination of all those things seems to have done the trick for now....

Ooops think I may have spoken too soon, although the midwife has been and says I am doing all the right things I still appear to have 2 very heavy, solid boulders in my bra!!!!

Let's just see what happens overnight....it may be better in the morning...

Oooooh tears have just started for no reason, just tired or hormonal or both I suppose.

I am sooo glad I made Grandad and Aunty stop in a hotel last night, as we didn't have a good night. Latching on seems to be taking for ever, and every time we got BN2 settled BN1 was unsettled. I think it was because he was worried that I wasn't going to be there when he woke in the morning.

When morning eventually came Grandma got BN1 up out of bed, and immediately I made hubby get up and bring BN1 into our bedroom, so that BN1 could be reassured that I was here by seeing me. It seemed to do the trick, and then he went off with Grandma happy as can be for breakfast and a story!!!

Grandad and Aunty occupied BN1 for most of the day, playing football etc. It was nice to have them help. I can't wait til I can play a bit more like I did before my bump got too large. We are trying our best to ensure BN1 isn't feeling too left out. He seems okay so far.

Grandma helped bathe BN1 before going home, that too was a great help, I didn't feel like I would have had lightning reactions if anything was to happen whilst BN1 was in the bath.

Tomorrow is our first day without help from the grandparents... I am sure we will be okay.

Having had little / no sleep last night due to a crying baby arriving on the ward in the middle of the night - no I wasn't suprised by that. I saw another girl from my antenatal group, she also delivered yesterday!!! Now it is getting bizarre - 4 of us delivered on the same day - strangely I said a few weeks ago I bet a few of us deliver on the same day.. and we did... that didnt happen with BN1.

Hubby and Bn1 arrived at 9ish. I was so pleased to seem them both,I really missed BN1 not waking me up at 6:30, honest!!! BN1 didn't really like seeing me in hospital, or being in hospital, but I can imagine it was wierd for him, not sure how long it will be till he realises that baby is no longer in mummy's tummy!!! Thankfully we had sorted out some gifts for BN1, so he soon relaxed, and one of the paper shufflers on the ward, gave him a biscuit, so he was made up. Biscuits are only for special occassions in our house, while he doesnt know any better! Soon BN1 had all the staff loving him... well he is so cute.

William had his hearing tests, and eventually passed, seemed like there was a bit of a problem with the equipment! and checked over by the paediatrician and was given the all clear to go home.

Hubby and BN1 went home to get a new going home outfit as the one we had, the same as we had for BN1 was too small!!! and the car seat was still at home!!! and it was probably best if BN1 was at home with Grandma, as we had enough to get to the car.
Just had to have me given the once over before we could be discharged. At least this time round I had the foresight to make it quite clear to the staff that I wanted to go home today, so we can get out as soon as possible.

I was checked, and by 9:30 we were ready to be discharged. Only problem being hubby was still shopping for a going home outfit and collecting the car seat from home.

By 12pm Hubby was back, without BN1 but with car seat and new outfit - which was far too big for BN2, but we didnt have much choice as the newborn outfit didnt fit cos he is too long.

We were back home before 1pm, what a result. But BN1 and Grandma had gone shopping. In a way it was good, cos it allowed me time to get settled back in at home, but in a way I wanted BN1 to be at home too.

Grandad and Aunty were supposed to be stopping tonight at our house, I made an executive decision and told them they had to stop in a nearby hotel, that way at least some of us got some sleep. I am sure that it will be for the best as it is our first night at home.

For those who have posted comments... sorry for the delay in getting this online.. its been a busy few days!!!! Catching up now!!

This part of the blog is written with help form my husband who was slightly more aware of events after reacning the hospital than I was.

I arrived at hospital at 3pm just as visiting was starting (not recommended as a good time to arrive, due to parking being a nightmare), and to make things worse as the shift was changing.

I was taken to the Delivery Suite, and shown to a room, where I had to wait for a midwife. On the way to the room though, I saw a strange sight!!!! One of the girls from my antenatal group, well her name was up on a board to say she was in, was actually going to be in the room next door to me!!

In walks a midwife, who was just going off shift, and presented me with a bottle to pee into.. something which I never actually got around to doing!!! That midwife wasnt seen again as the midwife just coming on shift walked in. So, anyway the midwife decides she is just going to monitor baby and I to make sure that the baby isn't distressed and take a look at how my contractions are, and whether I am just being a bit soft!!! Before what I imagined to happen was to be sent home agin for a coupe of hours, afterall that is what happened with BN1. the said midwife was barking mad, in a good way, before the end of the first 10 minutes we were singing Sam Cooke classics!!!! After judging her in seconds I thought I wasn't going to like her, and that I wanted to go home, but soon we were laughing and taking my mind off things, which was good cos I was petrified. Petrified because, alothugh this was BN2, as husband kept reminding me that I had done it all before, if finally dawned on me how little I remembered about the birth of BN1!!!

Anyway I get hooked up to the monitor and the paper work begins - but you guessed it - there were no signs of any contractions on the monitor!!! Ooh bugger! But I just knew it couldn't be right - cos I knew I was definitely having contractions, and just to reassure me, the midwife said she could see them across my bump, and from the expression on my face, and changes in my breathing that I was definitely having them!!! So it was time for an internal examination!!! Hooray... NOT!

Hooray at last, the proof I needed - I was already 6cm dilated. I was only expecting to be 2 or 3 based on the contractions not registering on the machine. The earlier walk must have helped a bit. So it was a pleasant suprise. But there was a slight problem. Only slight though. Like BN1 my waters were bulging and holding baby back. Midwife asked if she could break my waters. based on how long it took for them to go with BN1, I looked at hubby and he nodded, so I said yes, and with that they were gone!! I was a bit apprehensive cos I knew that with baby being on my cervix the contractions would come thick and fast, and painfully!!! (I think the midwife would have broken them anyway!!) There was a mighty gush of water that suprised even the midwifes. The wierd thing that I didnt experience with BN1 was the occassional leak of fluid on a cough, or laugh. I didnt like that too much!!.

By nw it was about 4:30, time flies when you're having fun! and I was offered Entinox. I felt like I was coping okay with Tens machine up until that point, but a little Entinox would help!!! And I didn't need to ask about an epidural, I was well beyond being able to have one of them!!

The Entinox was good, eventually, but I felt really sick with it for the first half hour or so, and my mout went really dry... and come to mention it, it did also give me a headache, but the midwife made me persist and eventually all those feelings passed. But the contractions came thick and fast and the pain increased. Midwife was v authouritive in getting me to use the Entinox correctly. She kept saying "If I can hear you talking then you arent using it properly". She had a point!

After initially starting on Entinox, Pethidine was my choice of drug!!! But whilst waiting for the Pethidinie I had a bizarre conversation with hubby along the lines of:

Before the midwife leaves the room she discuss the vitamin K consent form , which I have to read and sign.... like I can be bothered right now. So hubby reads it to me... like I'm listening!!! and then I ask him is it okay if I sign it, he says yes, so I sign it.... what a ridiculous time to get me to sign a bloody form!!!


Meanwhile I say to Hubby: "Where's the midwife with the pethidine?" It felt like she had been gone ages.
Hubby: Gone to the Cupboard.
Midwife (Shouts into room): In the cupboard.
Me: How far away is the damn cupboard, she's been ages

Thankfully hubby and midwife could see the funny side.

Another conversation hubby reminds me of:
Hubby: It's okay. you'll be fine. You've done it before.
Me: But I don't remember so it doesn't count.

Eventually the Midwife return and administers the pethidine, and shortly after baby and I begin to feel sleepy. Who knows what time it is now!!!

Aaahh push time!!! But before I can do that the Midwife asks if a student Midwife can deliver the baby. Again a stupid time to ask such an important question. I looked at Hubby for a reassuring nod again. He nodded. So I agreed. But only on one condition. She had to deliver baby in 30 minutes.!!! So no pressure then. I think I even managed to chuckle about my unrealistic goal!!! But a girl could hope.

Now it was time to push! Yep that hurt quite a bit.

All 3, hubby, midwife and student midwife were very encouraging in the later stages of my labour. And just under an hour after the student midwife had arrived baby William James was born.... all of a sudden... gush.. a torrent of fluid followed Williams arrival... and it went everywhere. William learnt to swim and gargle and cry all at the same time. What a star!!. Even my experienced midwife hadn't seen such a gush of waters before. It went everywehere.. oh well it wasn't my job to clean up!!! After a quick injection shortly after the placenta was delivered. That was more painful than I remembered from last time.. but as I said before I didn't remember much! And then the stiching began. For what it was worth - I only needed a couple.

William James has a fine pair of lungs, even managing to scream when covered in the gush of waters, and he scored a perfect 10 on his AGPAR score, but the shockwas yet to come. He weighed in at 9lbs 14ozs!!! and 57cm long. A whole pound heavier that his brother, and 1 cm longer. But born at nearly the same time of day 18:48. (His brother was born at 18:47)

A shower, tea and toast, and bonding time soon followed for William, Mum and Dad. News and Congratulations were soon exchanged with the girl I knew in the room next door. the student midwife helped deliver her little boy shortly after I had delivered. 2 of us on the same day!!!

I headed up to the ward at around 10:30. I was placed in a bed opposite where I was after having BN1, and there was no one else in my section of 4 beds. Looked like I was going to get a quiet night!!! No doubt I would be seeing the other new born baby and his mum up on the ward in the morning.

A short while after hubby had gone, and before I had got to sleep, there was another admittance on to my section of the post natal suite, another of the girls from my ante-natal group had also delivered on the same day!! This time it was a little girl. Fancy that 3 of us on the same day.

Then it was finally off to sleep, with the help of a little paracetemol.

Last Post: I think this will be my last post before I head off to the hospital. Still regular but I am running out of strength on the good old TENS machine, so may be after a little bit more soon.

Have rung into the hospital about an hour ago. They are expecting me, but have told me not too stay at home too long!!! Sounds ominous!!!! Still got my waters intact... a bit they are as tough as old boot as they were with BN1.

Still 5 mins apart and lasting 30 secs, but I think the intensity is increasing.

May get hubby to add to the blog later.... if there is anything else to report

Have just shouted at hubby.

I asked him to look up breathing during contractions on the internet, cos my mind has gone blank. i looked over his shoulder and saw him reading an article on "sex after giving birth" - i think he is being a touch ambitious about that at the moment!!!!!!!!

In his defence, he was just interested, and was passing through the site!!!!

Breathing Techniques at Baby Center

5 mins apart, 30 secs in length!! and bored!!!!

Bump is on its way..... Contractions started at 7ish this morning, and after about an hour and a hlaf of them I decided that I was in labour. Meanwhile BN1 had his breakfast, and then wanted reading to. Now I am always happy to read to our little chap, however mid contraction I am not so obliging!!!! So invoked a backup plan, and rang nursery to see if they could take him for the day....

So the little chap has gone off to nursery, none the wiser about what is shortly going to happen in his little world. I kind of feel for him at the moment.

With the little chap packed off to nursery a hot bath has been had, and hubby has sorted out my tens machine for me, and it's now working to good effect.

Grandma is on her way to look after the little chap later this afternoon.... Big hooray for Grandma.

Have walked to the post box and attempted to walk to the local shop to get some milk, but had to abandon that part of the walk, just wanted to go home.

On the walk home I had a contraction whilst leaning against a neighbours front fence. The said neighbour was in, and recognised what was happening. I think the window cleaners, who were doing her windows at the same time also guessed. But at least by the time the window cleaners get to the other end of the road, everyone in the street will know I am in labour... not sure if that is a good or bad thing though!!!!

Right another contraction has just got a grip of me.... boost on the TENS.... and I can just say my goodbyes for now, and go for another potter around the house. May add another entry before I tootle off to the hospital.

Well bump and I are still as one. I have still got backache. Surely it can't be long now!!!! Trying to get sleep at every available opportunity, whilst BN1 is in nursery.

The pregnancy brain has sunk in, as I started to type something, and now I cant for the life of me remember what it is.... doh! Will blog later when I have remembered, hopefully.

I had my last flute lesson, for the term last night (The Music Place - Altrincham, I can well recommend it). Hopefully, as long as I don't end up having a section then I will be able to begin my lessons sometime next term, and still manage to fit my Grade 3 exam in before Christmas. (I have my pieces ready, it's just that bump has got in the way for the scales, particularly the top end high notes).
(If I end up having a section, then I will just have to skip a terms worth of lessons and not do the exam...)

... Anyway why am I telling you about my flute, well I got home and saw myself in the mirror in the hallway, and I am convinced my bump has changed shape completely over the past few hours.... maybe its a sign.

Another day without any signs of baby coming, having fully recovered from my weekend, made the most of time with BN1 at nursery, and no sign of baby number 2 by going to the cinema with the girls from my ante-natal group. (The History Boys). It was good just to see the look on the faces of the staff as three heavily pregnant ladies turned up (one of whom is 10 days over due, the other 2 days overdue, and me - due in 6 days). It was good to have a catch up, and express our grumpiness at the waiting game which we are now playing.

On a brighter note after the cinema trip we visited a girl who had had her baby early last week, and ended up having an emergency section - she looked fab, and has settled into the motherhood role really well. I hope it goes as well for me the second time around as it has the first.

Its all been a bit wierd his weekend, as much as I am ready to have baby now, BN1 decided it was a good weekend to come down with an upset tummy!!! So hubby and I have been v tired. We both tried to make up for it by catching up on some sleep in preparation of Labour Day!!

But we made the most of the nice weather over the weekend, by heading to our local National Trust property, Dunham Massey. Its was a nice flat walk for me, and they had a session called something like Draw on Charcoal drive, where kids, young and old could get out the chalk and draw on the paths. It looked great.

Cheesed off and fed up. Have just been to see the midwife, baby isn't engaged!!! and I am not sleeping and have aches and pains everywhere, and the midwife said it is just hormones and ligaments. Well thanks a bundle!!! That makes me feel so much better, and the only thing I can do is walk more and have paracetemol. Woopie Doo!

Been and got hair done!! Baby can come now!!! As ready as I am going to be.

It has dawned on me that the best baby purchase I have probably made is my Lindam safety gates, the reason why, I just realised it is practically impossibly for BN1 to trap his little fingers in them, and with bump being so large now that I can restrict BN1's movement around the house, yes okay I did buy three gates (top of the stairs, bottom of the stairs, and kitchen doorway) - which most would probably think to be excessive, but with bump, at least I know I dont have to move gates around!!!

Bump... please come soon....I am fed up, and uncomfortable. I would just love a decent nights sleep, no matter how many pillows I have, there still isn't enough!!! Yep I know baby wont have a good sleep pattern to start with, but to have a few hours without tossing and turning would be a bonus.

Husband has been made redundant, most would be thinking NIGHTMARE, however we are seeing it as a bonus that husband will actually get to spend time with baby, BN1 and myself, whilst he finds another job, or tries to get our internet business venture up and running. (See Opakapaka sites on the right of this page.)

Just two weeks to go until BN2's due date. Feeling very large, and hoping that it will be any day soon, although still got the hairdressers yet!! Husband keeps saying your not fat, just pregnant, doesn't he realise that that gets a bit annoying, and he would be better off just agreeing with me, it's not quite the "does my bum look big in this" scenario.

Mothercare have now been added to our list of partner websites. I have visited the site already, as now the nights are getting colder, and wetter!! BN1 is getting cold in the night due to the significant change of temperature, so I have started to investigate getting a duvet for the cot.. but the choice is hard either spend a fortune on one duvet, that doesn't have a removable cover (isn't that a quilt) or spend more on getting separates. I am still looking into it.

Husband and I decided last night that with 3 weeks to go we should really give some serious thought to what we are going to call our baby. Visited the National Statistics Web site for the top 100 Girls Names and Boys Names over the past 5 years for some inspiration.

At least we have a short list now.... just got to find the one.... oh well still got three weeks to go.